- car go!”
- What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
- What subject do cats like best in school? Hiss-tory.
- Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. He said his summer was pretty good too.
- My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
- How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
- Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it's just water.
- Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
- Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.
A married couple, Harry and Esther, are out shopping one morning when Esther says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She said she would like something electric " Harry replies, "How about a chair?" Cannibal #1: "I can't stand my mother-in-law." Cannibal #2: "Why don't you just eat the vegetables?" A little boy gets a toy plane. The boy loves his plane. He flies it all over the house. One day, the boy is in the living room with his plane while his mom is in the kitchen washing dishes. She listens to the boy playing and hears him say, "Vroom, vroom, vroom. All you mother fucking people want to get on, get on. All you mother fucking people want to get off, get off. " Angry, his mom rushes into the living room, takes the plane away, and sends him into his room,. After 15 minutes, she starts to feel bad and tells the boy, "If you don't use that kind of language, you can pla...
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