joke listing 9

A married couple, Harry and Esther, are
out shopping one morning when Esther
says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday
 tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?
She said she would like something electric
" Harry replies, "How about a chair?"

Cannibal #1: "I can't stand my mother-in-law."
Cannibal #2: "Why don't you just eat the vegetables?"

A little boy gets a toy plane. The boy loves his
 plane. He flies it all over the house. One day,
 the boy is in the living room with his plane
while his mom is in the kitchen washing dishes.
 She listens to the boy playing and hears him
say, "Vroom, vroom, vroom. All you mother
fucking people want to get on, get on. All you
 mother fucking people want to get off, get off.
" Angry, his mom rushes into the living room,
takes the plane away, and sends him into his
room,. After 15 minutes, she starts to feel bad
and tells the boy, "If you don't use that kind of
language, you can play with your plane." The boy
 returns to the living room, his mom to the kitchen
. She listens again to the boy playing, she hears him
 say, "Vroom, vroom, vroom. All you very nice people
 want to get on, get on. All you very nice people
want to get off, get off. If you have a problem
with 15 minute delay, you can go talk to the bitch in the kitchen!"

The bride, upon her engagement, goes to her
mother and says, "I've found a man just like Father
!" Her mother replies, "So what do you want from
me, sympathy

Two cannibals, a father and son, are walking down
the street, when they notice a hot girl passing by.
 The son says to the father, "Daddy, I'm hungry,
let’s eat that girl that just passed by." The father
 replies, "I've got a better idea son, let’s take this
one home and eat your mother instead!