Skip to main content

Ads by Google

Budget-Friendly One-Liners

 

  1. I tried to catch fog… I mist.

  2. Velcro — what a rip-off.

  3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

  4. I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. That’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.

  5. I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.

  6. I told my dog a joke — he pawsed.

  7. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

  8. I have a split personality… and so do I.

  9. My jokes are self-employed. They don’t work for everyone.

  10. I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

joke listing 9

A married couple, Harry and Esther, are out shopping one morning when Esther says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday  tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She said she would like something electric " Harry replies, "How about a chair?" Cannibal #1: "I can't stand my mother-in-law." Cannibal #2: "Why don't you just eat the vegetables?" A little boy gets a toy plane. The boy loves his  plane. He flies it all over the house. One day,  the boy is in the living room with his plane while his mom is in the kitchen washing dishes.  She listens to the boy playing and hears him say, "Vroom, vroom, vroom. All you mother fucking people want to get on, get on. All you  mother fucking people want to get off, get off. " Angry, his mom rushes into the living room, takes the plane away, and sends him into his room,. After 15 minutes, she starts to feel bad and tells the boy, "If you don't use that kind of language, you can pla...
Post a Comment
Read more

The laws of golf

LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime. LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former. LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water. LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down. LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe. LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an ins...
Post a Comment
Read more