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Steven Wright 22

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.





I had a dream that all the victims of The Pill came back... Boy, were they mad!





The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...





I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit.





It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.





I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.





I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading. So, I got some flip-up contact lenses.





Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.





I filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

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