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Family Joke 8

School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school.
She often fell asleep and one day while she
 was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question
. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was
sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her
with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and
yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated
 her. A little later the teacher asked her another
question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?"
 Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus
 Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again.
 Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say
 to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey
again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in
me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that
most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,
 so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying,
"I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides
 to go home and try it out.

Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he
tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mothe
r quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't
tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits
 for his father to get home from work, and greets
 him with, "I know the whole truth." The father
promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't
say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the
next day when he sees the mailman at his front
door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the
whole truth." The mailman immediately drops
the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come
give your Daddy a great big hug
A young boy comes home from school in a bad
 mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?
The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another
 kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The
father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does
 that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's
so cute!"

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