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Joke List 39

Peter sat at his dying wife's bedside. Her voice
was little more than a whisper. "Pete darling,"
 she breathed, "I've a confession to make
before I go... I... I'm the one who took the
$10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling
with your best friend, Alex. And it was I who
 forced your mistress to leave the city. And
I am the one who reported your income tax
 evasion to the government." "Don't give it
 a second thought, sweetheart. Who do you
 think gave you the poison?" answered Peter.
Is a date a fruit or a vegetables? You don't
 know until he's at the door.
He named the street he owned after his
 wife. What a grand statement of his love
 for her, for she was cold, hard, cracked,
and only gets plowed around the holidays.
What do you have to do when your mother
-in-law taps the window? Turn the furnace
a little higher
Boy: "Hey, I like you and I was wondering
 if you would be my girlfriend."
Girl: "I have a boyfriend."
Boy: "I have math test tomorrow."
Girl: "What does that have to do with
anything?"
Boy: "I thought we were listing things
we could cheat on."

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