On New Year's Eve, a woman stood up
at a local pub and said it was time to
get ready for the midnight countdown
. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted
every husband to stand next to the one
person who made his life worth living.
As the clock struck midnight, the bartender
was almost crushed to death.
at a local pub and said it was time to
get ready for the midnight countdown
. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted
every husband to stand next to the one
person who made his life worth living.
As the clock struck midnight, the bartender
was almost crushed to death.
A man is about to enter a meeting at work
when he realizes that he forgot some important
paperwork. He calls home so that his wife
can retrieve them. The maid answers the
phone and says that his wife is busy. He
demands that the maid put his wife on the
phone. The maid informs the man that his
wife is in bed with the gardener. The man
goes nuts, and offers the maid one million
dollars to shoot them both. The maid agree
s and he soon hears two gunshots.
The maid returns to the phone and
he asks her what happened. The maid
says she shot his wife in bed and the gardener
ran, so she shot him by the pool. The man says
, "Pool??? Is this 555-4320???"
when he realizes that he forgot some important
paperwork. He calls home so that his wife
can retrieve them. The maid answers the
phone and says that his wife is busy. He
demands that the maid put his wife on the
phone. The maid informs the man that his
wife is in bed with the gardener. The man
goes nuts, and offers the maid one million
dollars to shoot them both. The maid agree
s and he soon hears two gunshots.
The maid returns to the phone and
he asks her what happened. The maid
says she shot his wife in bed and the gardener
ran, so she shot him by the pool. The man says
, "Pool??? Is this 555-4320???"
What do marriage and a tornado have in
common? In the beginning there's a lot of
blowing and sucking, and in the end someone
loses a house.
common? In the beginning there's a lot of
blowing and sucking, and in the end someone
loses a house.
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom
approaches the pastor with an unusual offer
. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the
wedding vows. When you get to the part
where I'm supposed to promise to 'love,
honor, and obey' and 'be faithful to her
forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave
that out." He passes the minister a $100 bill
and walks away satisfied. On the day of the
wedding, when it comes time for the groom's
vows, the pastor looks the young man in the
eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate
yourself before her, obey her every command
and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every
morning of your life, and swear eternally
before God and your lovely wife that you
will not ever even look at another woman,
as long as you both shall live?" The groom
gulps, looks around, and says in a tiny voice
, "Yes," then leans toward the pastor and
hisses, "I thought we had a deal." The pastor
puts a $100 bill into the groom's hand and
whispers, "She made me a better offer."
approaches the pastor with an unusual offer
. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the
wedding vows. When you get to the part
where I'm supposed to promise to 'love,
honor, and obey' and 'be faithful to her
forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave
that out." He passes the minister a $100 bill
and walks away satisfied. On the day of the
wedding, when it comes time for the groom's
vows, the pastor looks the young man in the
eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate
yourself before her, obey her every command
and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every
morning of your life, and swear eternally
before God and your lovely wife that you
will not ever even look at another woman,
as long as you both shall live?" The groom
gulps, looks around, and says in a tiny voice
, "Yes," then leans toward the pastor and
hisses, "I thought we had a deal." The pastor
puts a $100 bill into the groom's hand and
whispers, "She made me a better offer."
A couple drives to the hospital because the
wife is in labor. The doctor alerts them that
she invented a machine that will transfer
some of the labor pain to the father, if they'd
like. The husband eagerly says, "Give it all to
me!" The couple returns home with a bouncing
baby boy, only to find the mailman dead on their
lawn.
wife is in labor. The doctor alerts them that
she invented a machine that will transfer
some of the labor pain to the father, if they'd
like. The husband eagerly says, "Give it all to
me!" The couple returns home with a bouncing
baby boy, only to find the mailman dead on their
lawn.
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