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Joke list 28

A husband and wife are moving out of their
house and are starting to box everything up
. The husband finds a box under the bed,
pulls it out, and looks inside, where he finds
 two eggs and about $8,000. He approaches
 the wife and asks, "What are the eggs for?
" She replies, "Every time I cheat on you, I
put an egg in the box." He says, "That's alright
, you've only cheated on me twice. What's the
 money for?" The wife replies, "Every time I get
 a dozen, I sell them!"
Wife: "Our new neighbor always kisses his wife
 when he leaves for work. Why don't you do that?"
Husband: "How can I? I don't even know her."
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.
A husband asks his wife, "Will you marry I after
die?" The wife responds, "No, I will live with
 my sister." The wife asks him back, "Will you
 marry after I die?" The husband responds,
"No, I will also live with your sister
A little old lady comes into the kitchen to
 talk to her husband and says, "Honey just
 look at me. My legs are heavy, thighs are
 getting big, and boobs are sagging. I could
really use a complement right about now."
 The husband replied, "You have really good
eye sight!"

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